The Fappening: Reaffirming Man's Ruthlessness in 2014

"The Fappening" happened.

"Finally" some Reddit users are saying. Yes, finally. Finally we have bold evidence that humans are the most inhumane of creatures.

The Fappening is rape from a distance. It is cyber-molestation, a complete expulsion of privacy and a discharge of decency.

The Fappening will be remembered as the day mankind devolved into a gang of horny and greedy degenerates who jumped at the chance to degrade a group of women, worldwide.

This is not pornography, this is a disgusting sex crime in which everyone who views the photos partakes.

I saw some of the pictures yesterday. I observed and commented and even laughed. Can you believe that? I fucking LAUGHED at a fellow human being whose most private moments were stolen from her.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THIS IS NOT OK.

I feel so strongly for these girls. This is not just their bodies. This is their minds we are ripping away from them. And I am just as guilty as the rest of you spectators.

So why did I do it?
Shock. Awe. Curiosity and the complete relief that it wasn't me.

Well guess what.

It WAS me. A few years ago, when I was barely 19, I was at a Halloween party and my phone got stolen. Now at this time, I had had a long-term boyfriend of two years, and of course, some photos had been traded between him and I. So what happened when my phone was stolen, and the photos with it? Well the person who took my phone, opened my Facebook (I was constantly logged into my account as it was an app on my cell phone) and uploaded, to MY OWN profile, nude photos of me.

What did this look like to everyone else but a slutty teenager who got drunk and posted nudes of herself online?

Needless to say I was devastated. I ripped around and deleted every photo that had been posted. Luckily (as if anything was lucky about this situation), it was two in the morning on Halloween, so it was not the prime time for Facebook. But believe me, there was enough attention given (many repulsed, and many [repulsively] aroused responses) to really get into my head.

That was MY body. Those were MY photos. And it was me at my most vulnerable, on display for every person I knew to see. It was horrendous. The following week at University and the reoccurring scrutiny that it brought to my loss of dignity made it worse. It took me a long time to get over that violation and rebuild my self-respect.

Now for me to imagine what these girls are going through, how the ENTIRE WEB-ACCESSING WORLD can see them naked without their permission, that is fucked up. That is horrible. That is rape from a distance, and every fucker out there who jerks off to these women is violating them without their permission.

And maybe you think I'm just disgruntled, maybe you think I'm overreacting, maybe you think I'm a self-righteous female, but fuck you for doubting for one second the shame that this brings to everyone abusing this defamation. Fuck. You.

You are an asshole. I am an asshole. We are all a bunch of fucking assholes armed with computers and cruelty.

Take it from someone who's been there; This violation of privacy, even on a small scale, and especially on a large one, is a brutality that deserves objection.

Sincerely Disgusted,

LF

Pond Scum

I'm sick of hearing, "you can't". It's starting to sound like the mantra of the majority.

"You can't live in a 10 X 10 apartment."
"You can't work two jobs."
"You can't up and move to another country."
"You can't just be a writer."

Why?

"Because, because you can't! It's not that easy."

No, it's not. But I don't want to do these things because they're easy. I want to do them because they're worth it. Because the higher the pressure the more liberty you feel once it's released. Because overcoming the challenge is half the fun. Because proving you wrong is inspiration enough to get out of bed, to run instead of walk, to jump when told to sit. Because in a world where the survival of the fittest has become a mere concept, the only true form of freedom is recklessness.

No, I don't want your advice, no, I don't need to slow down, and no, I didn't ask you what you're doing this weekend, because let me guess; you're going to check out that new gimmick restaurant where they lock up your cell phones because you and your friends are a internet-nymphos that can't restrain yourselves from getting off on hashtags in the middle of dinner.

"But why would you want to leave Canada? You don't realize how lucky you are."

Do you want to know, do you really, really want to know why I hate it here?

Because of people like you.

Because you bore the fucking shit out of me. Because you watch reality TV and shop at Victoria Secret. Because you're in a perpetual state of waiting for the weekend. And when it comes, you tip well, and absolve yourself of a 600 calorie coffee with the singular Hail Mary, "It's Friday!".

And as I watch you sacrifice your body to the gods of the Weekend, smearing the innards of an imported danish over your face like war paint, I can tell who you really are. Because, don't forget, I've seen you on Monday.

I've seen you Monday morning when I'm not important enough to even make eye contact with, when you bitch and moan because your 6 figure salary still makes you get up before nine. And for all of the smiles and gratuity that the weekend brings, that's who you really are.
A fucking Monday.

So instead of sticking around and sniveling about my surroundings, I want to escape. To experience, examine and explore. I've taken enough from Canada, for a long, long time.

I see that you're already comfortable here. You've settled in, calm and complacent. Not looking to leave, to move, to run like a river. No. You are happy being still. You are happy being stagnant.

And maybe it's the fact that I can't sit without shaking my legs, maybe it's because I've moved more times than years I've been alive, but I feel more at home in the crash of the wave than the calm of a lake. And you told me that you're scared of the ocean, but while still water is easier to swim in, it's the one that gets pond scum.


never yours,
LF

Best Girly Movies Everrrrrrr

GUILTY PLEASURE PICTURES

the girls edition

OMG yes I have a uterus. Yes I indulge in typical womanly things from time to time (selfies, holiday lattes, Friends). And yes I have a soft spot for certain movies. It's pretty well known that I love blood and gore and seeing the bad guy win. But every now and then I visit the world of women and have a girly night where I paint my nails and drink too much wine and eat things with avocado in them. I blame my mother.

Here are my top fifteen classic girl movies that get better and also worse with every viewing.

15

27 Dresses

At least one Katherine Heigl movie was sure to end up on here. I prefer this one to the Ugly Truth because BENNY AND THE JETS. That song is yes.

It's our doom to feel like that at least once a week.

14

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Marilyn Monroe is the women of women. Her most iconic role as the best friend to diamonds, this movie and her performance hold up as hilarious after all this time.

13

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Baaaah so much teased blonde hair, so much synthetic plastic clothing, SO MUCH 90'S GOODNESS.

Seriously this is movie is our childhood. And also our future. All rolled up in a feather trimmed OHMAH-GAWD fest.

12

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Probably the best movie to get drunk to while feeling ridiculously girly and classy. Feel free to indulge in cigarettes and french baked goods as well.

Like a real gentleman.

11

Bad Teacher

Cameron Diaz not giving a fuck about her job or basically any other human in this movie is how I am most of the time. About everything. But instead of fake tits I'm saving for student loans.

Everyday.

10

(ps lol at Rose McGowan just mooping at the bottom of this poster)

Death Proof

QUENTIN TARANTINO MADE A CHICK FLICK AND THERE'S SEVERED LIMBS AND IDLE CHATTER AND THE SEXIEST FULLY-DRESSED LAP DANCE YOU WILL EVER WITNESS.

That's not a lot, really.

9

Clueless

This along with Romy & Michele are what's under the definition of the 90's Girl in the dictionary. Feather boas, flip cell phones and Brittany Murphy, what more can a girl ask for? (other than some Lisa Frank).

Look at lil Brittanyyyyy ooooooooooohhhhhhh.

8

House Bunny

Anna Faris + Emma Stone + slightly outdated university stereotypes = a really stupid movie that screams for poor girl's margaritas (mix & liquor, no blender) and Facebook creepin.

So dumb. So good. Anna Faris is a genuine babe.

7

Miss Congeniality

Every tomboy had her day of having to be a woman (9th grade grad was an eyeliner filled mess) and there is nothing that makes a girl feel good to hate being a girl like seeing Sandra Bullock get waxed and then twist her ankle in heels.

Little did we know how true this would become.

Also if ever I get forced into a talent show I am doing this;

6

You've Got Mail

UGH THIS MOVIE. It's one of the few romances that not only doesn't give me nausea, but it actually gets me. Every time. 

Something about that fucker Tom Hanks gets my heart growin' like the Grinch's. Plus independent book store vs big bad book store. Plus New York. Plus internet chatting that is so real and accurate and oh fuck this perfect film.

5

Bridget Jones

Oh Bridget. This is possibly the most lol-inducing film on this list. Seriously. And boys, if you somehow got onto this post and have made it this far, you have to love this movie. You have to. HAVE TO. It's just fucking fun for everyone. Cheesy christmas sweaters, british accents, a girl who can't cook and eats Ben & Jerry's wrapped up in a duvet;

There is not one part of this movie that I dislike. I would say Hugh Grant but he plays the douchiest douche so even that is satisfying.

My life.

4

Coyote Ugly

LeAnn Rimes, middle parted hair, and the man that I blame for all of our inexplicable swooning over the aussies. This is one bad-bitch flick with a good girl feel? I don't know how they made something so slutty so fucking wholesome and great. Although John Goodman may have something to do with it.

It's only gonna get worse, John.

And if you can stop yourself from singing along to this entire soundtrack, you don't have a uterus. Or a soul. Because real women CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT NO.

3

She's the Man

A personal favourite, and how we all want to remember Amanda Bynes. So quotable, and I drop em on the daily even still. I refuse to grow up.

This is the Anchorman for women. Right down to the easy-to-imitate voice and real-life-applicable sayings like, "Rub some dirt in it." or "Ohmygod he knew." or "Bros, brothers, brethren?" or "check out the booty on that blondy" or "I gotta lifetime of knowledge." or;

2

Devil Wears Prada

Back when we used to buy DVD's and actually put them into a machine and then watch them on a screen that was meant just for that, I watched this movie almost everyday for a looooong time. It's got everything a girl needs in a film. A little drama, a lot of fashion and a homely girl fighting her way to the top for the job she wants. Quite sincerely inspiring for success, and really a stand up film in many ways.

Not too sure who Meryl Streep is but she's pretty good in this...??

Miranda Priestly is one of the sharpest female characters to grace us with her presence. Ever. Like a modern day Cruella De Vil meets Gordon Gecko.

And look at Emily Blunt being all new and fresh and playing supporting roles. PS you guys know she bagged John Krasinski, right? She really did do America right.

Of course, the queen b of them all;

1

 MEAN GIRLS, duh

Could any other film be number one? There's really nothing that needs to be said. This is the ultimate girls movie. Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? Nope, nah, can't and won't be beat. 

So did my high school.

This film stereotyped many classes of people, but did it took it so far and did it so well that no one could possibly be offended. EVERYONE was torn apart in this film. Also this film is why I don't condone the term "betches". Because Tina Fey told me that we (females) can't keep calling each other derogatory terms. Normally I'm not uptight about it but betches is one that we made up for ourselves. If you haven't heard of this, it's sort of the female equivalent of "bros". Yeah, the Woo Girls who are the reason we have pumpkin spiced everything now. They made up this word that even makes them sound stupid. And that's ok for them, but I do not support the term "betches". 

...or Michael Kors.

I was always very glad we didn't do this at my high school. Why do american schools keep allowing these sort of ridiculous events that encourage hierarchies and then complain about clique-ieness and bullying. IF YOU PUNCH A HORSE IN THE ASS DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN IT KICKS YOU.

My sentiments exactly.

So that's that, the pussy's out of the bag, so to speak. Now you know, I'm a woman and I partake in womanly things sometimes.

Ok brb gotta go rub some dirt in it.

LF

Screw The "Divine Feminine"

Be forewarned. I am about to address something that many will see as belittling women. In everything that I say, I do not mean to claim that men and women are the exact same, I simply want to point out some issues that I have with the “divine feminine” myth, in that women are more sacred or holy than men. What I will say requires you to believe in a soul, and who doesn’t hope they are made of more than a few expiring elements combined? I want to talk about a theory I have that souls do not have a sex, but the way our physical bodies influence our souls through chemical reactions that induce certain emotions and thoughts make us believe we are inherently gendered.

Open your mind and let my theories appall or enthrall you.

Yours recklessly,

Lillith Foxx

If women are the "divine feminine" then how come most major spiritual figures are men?

That’s not to say that men are more divine either, I’m simply pointing out that the evidence doesn’t allow for women to be held in a higher regard. You may think; but women can give the gift of life! They carry children inside them and give birth to humans that weren’t there before. Tiny little people walk right out of them. Women are like imperfect cloning machines.

My argument is this; when you give a man enough estrogen, he starts to act and react like a woman. No, his body may not be able to carry a child, but he feels as though he could. The maternal instinct is not in us as women, but in us as humans that have a certain hormonal influence. Just like if you gave a woman enough testosterone she would become irrationally territorial and competitive. Acting as if she were a man.

You go!..girl?

The only reason men and women are different is not because our “selves” or our “souls” have a gender, but the influence that our physical bodies (ie; hormones, genetics, periods) have on the way our mind operates. You’ve probably seen by now the scientific explanation of love, how it’s really just a chemical reaction influencing your emotions with the influx of dopamine and tempting pheromones when you look at someone with perfect symmetry and baby-makin’ features. Well that’s the same influence that hormones have on “spirituality”.

I argue that many have confused women’s open emotions with a knowledge of the ether. Females are so persuaded and often downright controlled by our emotions that we see pretty things and get happy, or see someone hurt and start crying because our bodies are telling us to. So that when we have children of our own we know to lay them on a bed of flowers rather than a ball of barbed wire. It’s that maternal instinct that basically rules our lives. Men on the other hand are looking for protection and strength to guard their families. This does not make them less spiritual, their instincts simply do not seem as gentle or peaceful as women's.

Her mom must have been wired wrong.

Women who themselves support the divine feminine ideal are supporting (probably unknowingly) a much larger issue that I won’t fully get into here, sexism.

Claiming that women are in any way more ‘special’ than men, (simply because we can carry babies-which we couldn’t do without men- and which we forget that we are not obligated  to do) totally negates every important stand that women have taken to demand equality.

We want the same pay! We want the same opportunities and treatment! We want to be seen as humans! Oh but we also want to be seen as more delicate, spiritual, intuitive beings than men. Do you see the insanity here?

I used to cringe at the word feminism, (which a friend recently pointed out simply means ‘the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.’) because I was so used to the overly-righteous and sometimes straight up misandry from feminist activists that it was terrifying.

We’ve all seen the bitchy feminist character in movies who is usually pushed to the extreme of a man-hating, short-haired, soulless women who get’s cracked on a couple times and when she fails to jump on a dick within the first 30 minutes of the film she’s thenceforth referred to as a dyke. That is NOT equality. She is not your average woman and if our choices for cinematic representation are a dumb, likeable girl or a smart, hard-assed cunt, who do you think most women would choose?

Of course you are not the average woman (if you are indeed of the feminine persuasion), you are strong and independent and know how to download torrents all on your own so you demand a better representation than that. And I agree! But if you want society to give you the respect you deserve, you’ll have to let go of the petty ideals of being a woman. Yes you have boobs, yes you have a uterus, yes you can get dirty as hard as the men, no you may not expect special treatment or a reward for it.

Yes it’s usually tough women who make it in the industry (whichever one that may be) but it’s usually tough men as well. If you’re a pussy you’ll fail as either sex, so stop demanding a gentler hand to shake. This is not meant to be anti-feminine, this is simply anti-divine-feminine. This is for you to realize how unfair it is to rant and rant and rant about adequation, and still support the “uber female”. We, as beings, are born into infinitely different combinations of the exact same material. We naturally have access to all of the same knowledge, tools, powers that be, (or whatever you believe in) energy, feelings, attitudes and dispositions. They are not separated or divided unevenly at birth between the sexes, so why do we claim it to be so?

Obviously 'Mother Earth' is preggers. All the time. But still pretty right?

Think of this; we call her “Mother Earth”, Why? I doubt if there was a spirit of the earth that it would be in the shape of a human, let alone male or female. Do you really think there would be some sort of gender to something that powerful and whole? No. It would be some asexual spirit that gives and takes and keeps things in balance. If it were a mother, don’t you think there would be too many imbalances in the world?  As in no tree could ever die, because what mother would let her children pass away? No, it would need aspects of both genders to be a true god. But because the earth has “given birth” to so many things; animals and rivers and agriculture and such, we relate it to a woman. But there is competition and justice in nature as well. We have simply labelled it female because it’s easier for us to relate to.

It’s simpler to put things into black and white, male and female, hard and soft. The truth of the matter is, life is a kaleidoscope of colours and truths, and we are constantly changing and combining to form certain patterns and words and beings at one time or another, then separating again to become distinct personalities and shapes.

You are a man and I am a woman, if you pull back, we are both humans, pull back again, we are both mammals; farther, creatures of earth, members of our solar system, the milky way. Equal beings who are small samples of the bigger picture. But I am not more human than you, more spiritual, divine; only our physical bodies separate us, together we are yin & yang, but separate, we are whole.

The Deterioration of Our Current Generation

365 Days of Creativity

day one hundred and six

Last night I witnessed the deterioration of our current generation. Talks of shots and girl's tight tops, which beats are sick, which beers have hops.

A dance floor full of bodies doing nothing more than rocking; simply swaying back and forth letting their bare skin do the talking.

Girls are laughing loudly, flirting dumbly without pride. Boys are softly grabbing, trying hard to get inside.

I'm not under the impression that a club is good for sessions of intensive conversation; but there's a line of crossed digression 'tween a dance or delicatessen and if these young kids don't lessen their completely bared obsession with finding a sex connection I fear loss of life, regression and required intercession so we may stop this great depression and procede with the progression of these young children's ascension to the spiritual dimension.

They owe it to themselves to see there's more to life than spells of boredom bleached by alcohol and music loud and dollar bills spent carelessly on swaying wills of little girls who get their thrills all fully spilled out of tight clothes and popping compact coloured pills.

And as I danced to pulsing beat, seeing all eyes know not discreet, feeling an overwhelming stream; an ocean trying to break free, behind the dammed up river beds all dried up in the drunken heads, I felt much higher, even hallowed, for while you're playing in the shallows, I know exactly where I'll be, diving into the open sea.

RANT: Maybe I'm Fucked, Maybe You're Just Lying

Today one of the teachers at my film school said that often violence in films is gratuitous, meaning unnecessary, shocking and insensitive. She then praised on student film for being "the only one that didn't make [her] want to slit her wrists." She reprimanded us for using violence in a film, and then stood in front of us and made a suicide joke. And it's the fictional depiction of someone swinging a stick that's insensitive? Fuck that.

If people have the rights to attack and exploit every traumatizing event in the name of humour, then people should have the right to display violence and blood in the name of entertainment.

Is it not really the same thing? Making disturbing matters a source of enjoyment by taking away the negative connotations and consequences. Isn't it better to explore violence and pain through art and film than in reality?

I will confess, although I see it less as a confession, and more a statement of fact, that I enjoy violence. I like to see broken noses and bloody lips. I gain enjoyment, and sometimes even glee when I watch pain and destruction. Maybe it's fucked up, but for me, it's the truth. It's natural. I don't know if it makes me feel strong or superior or anything like that, and it's certainly not a form of sexual arousal, (though pain and pleasure can be as sweet a pairing as caffeine and nicotine.) it merely pleases me to see such things.

And as I sit here and think of it now, it seems to be quite exact events that bring such enjoyment. For instance, I don't like the slow, agonizing cuts drawn across flesh, not bones being cracked into smaller and smaller pieces, definitely not rape or pleas of pity. It's the more sudden, violent events that gain my reaction. Shot gun blasts to chests, 50 cal bullets that rip skull from spine in a splatter of blood. Curb stomps and whip cracks. Sword slashes. Explosions and fire and cries of rage as a hammer is swung into a skull.

Even as I write these things, I gain a sense of urgency, my pulse quickens, my adrenaline is awoken and I feel the urge to Hit something. HARD.

But I don't, and that's the human feature or practice or habit or form of surpression known as civility. One of the things that makes us human is our ability to control our emotions. But this act of "decency" is just that, an act. I am still an animal, I still have urges. My instincts still drive me to eat and fuck and honestly yes, kill. And if I can't express myself, if I can't release these urges through art, through film, then where shall I do it?

If violent videos seem too insensitive, maybe you suggest I should get out more?

This is Your Brain on School

365 Days of Creativity

day sixty one

This is Your Brain on School

School is bullshit.

The government plans every lesson for you, chooses every topic that you'll study for twelve years of your life.

It's been claimed that video games desensitize teens, but all sense is lost long before that. It's the classrooms that numb the minds of children.

Social Studies is the greatest offender of all.

In this course, number after number is thrown at you. Dates, coordinates, and percentages. People's names, and the places they lived, all these details that you don't give a shit about.

World War One

World War Two

Hiroshima

The Hindenburg

They take these travesties and turn them into facts. They make millions of deaths seem like petty statistics. It's not about who died, how the families coped, or the social study of loss. It's about numbers. Facts. Tidbits of history.

How could I possibly give a shit about Hiroshima? First, I didn't know anyone killed, and second, they present the event as a number.

80'000 dead.

1.6 km blast radius.

Because they taught it to me in numbers, I'm forced to compare it to other things in numbers. 

80'000 dead vs the 6'800'000'000 people in the world.

1.6 km blast radius vs the 510'072'000 square km covering the planet.

Not to mention the event compared to the timeline of human's existence. It makes it almost infinitesimal. It's so minute, so completely useless to try and feel something for these faceless numbers. I can't sympathize with a digit. 

On the other hand, the act of taking people, and summing up their deaths as numbers, saying "80'000 died" makes them seem like they still exist. Sure the people behind the numbers are dead, but together they are forever immortalized as "The Victims of Hiroshima". The individual names are forgotten, but the mass is not. No, they may not be thought upon with true tenderness or care, but at least they're thought upon at all.

I had a teacher once, she swore to the offensiveness of the film Titanic. She claimed that making a profit off of a romanticized version of the tragedy was one of the worst sins imaginable. I could see her point of exploitation for personal gain, but I defended the movie for one main reason;

It made me care.

The movie of the titanic crash, took a statistic of 1'517 dead, and made them into real people. Humans who had laughed and loved, and unfortunately were lost.

It was the only time learning about an event in history had triggered any sort of emotional response in me. While my teacher thought the love story was gimmicky, I saw it as a way to relate to the victims of the titanic. To see that there were human beings behind the numbers and percentages.

This is the power of storytelling, this is why I make movies and this is why school is bullshit. Because they throw information at you like rice at a wedding. That is your marriage to the machine. Your holy matrimony into enslavement to society. Your vows to obey.

It's time for a fucking divorce.

You and the Now

365 Days of Creativity

day fifty three

You and the Now

For all of your material possessions, all of the people, all of the shit you surround yourself with, you don't realize that you will always be alone. The lover or wife that you hold so dear, the boyfriend that is "a part of you", these people are alone too. Emotional connections and coital interactions aside, there is nothing but you.

You came into this world alone, and you'll leave this world alone. Even surrounded by the other 63 passengers of the failing flight 232, really and truly you are left only with your inner self. Your soul, your sense of self, your true Being.

And in your last moments, it may be the first time you realize this, and it may scare the shit out of you.

That you are not your car, you are not your Rolex, you are not your "better half". You are not even your past or future. There is a you beneath all of that. A you not programmed by society, a you with it's core thoughts and feelings. Not the trivial thoughts that run through your mind on a dat-to-day basis, but the true fiber of your very being. Your most natural instincts. The ones not controlled by your past or future. But the present you. Your everyday mind is constantly swallowed by memories and either hopes or worries for the future. Never truly able to relax into the present, to feel every other living thing, to know things without thinking about them. This is you. Your very center. And if you don't try to connect with it, it will scare you in your last moments.

If you do get an inward glimpse through your pain and physical possessions, the Being that you see may seem like a stranger to you.

Think about how you overreact when something you own breaks, think about the moment of false accomplishment you feel when you buy something you've wanted for a while. Think about your goals. Are you working towards another purchase? More shit to fill your empty life with? Is your goal with your job? A promotion? Is any deeper meaning finding it's way into your life? Do you strive for spiritual enlightenment or global understanding?

Make a daily to-do list, and leave the tasks on the page. Don't constantly think about them and all the stuff you need to get done. You have your list, you're organized. Let your mind rest and simply absorb the now. Don't let yourself dwell in the past or project into the future. Because both will always stay where they are. But the Now, the Now is always immediate, ever present. Stop trying to be something, and simply let yourself be.

Inspired by Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.
I recommend everyone reads it, the book will open your eyes to a part of you you didn't know existed. Will make you examine your priorities, and allow you to really know yourself.

Best wishes and sincere hopes you reach true knowledge,

Foxx.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Power_of_Now

Why Fight Club is So Important to Me

365 Days of Creativity

day twenty two

Fight Club

"I want you to hit me, as hard as you can." A viscous proposition made from a dangerous man; Tyler Durden, Fight Club. While there is no doubt that movies are powerful, nothing has done as Tyler said, and hit me as hard as this one. Very few films have ever changed my opinion on something, let alone stop me dead in my tracks. Fight Club did this and more. I was halted, spun, and shoved in a completely new direction. There are a plethora of things in this movie that rang true with me, but most of all was the idea of taking control while letting go.

Life is a slippery thing. It bounces all over the place and if you're not quick, it'll slide right past you. I always thought of myself as a spontaneous person, someone who would take a risk. Until I watched Fight Club, I never knew how much I was missing. What I thought was surprise and opportunity was always a safe bet. The jobs, the friends, the relationships. I never did anything that I wanted to unless there was some sort of reasoning behind it. I was quickly being molded into the consumer sheep that all of society is doomed to be. Then, like a kick to the throat, Fight Club was there. The film justified every adrenaline crazed action that I wanted to take, it urged me to get those tattoos, it supported my most feral impulses. The world made sense as soon as I heard one line;

"I don't want to die without any scars"

-Narrator, Fight Club

Poof, my worries were gone. My nerves, my apprehensions, all erased. I knew in that moment that I could do anything. I might fall, I might break, I might make a complete ass out of myself, but at least when I die I'll know that I've lived. That I took every crazy, risky opportunity that came my way, and didn't let anyone shit on me.

Fight Club has the kind of story that rings true in one way or another with almost every one. Whether it be that your possessions own you, or that you’re in a relationship where half the time you don’t know if your friend has been replaced with a completely different person. Most of the time I feel that I myself have been switched with someone else. Actions, words and self-destructive tendencies that seem to come from some alternate personality. Fight Club helped me realize that, like the Narrator, I kept projecting my problems onto someone else instead of realizing that I was merely manifesting my own issues.

Seldom is it that an action film is one to change lives, but Fight Club is a rare breed of storytelling and moral shaking. For me it was a wake up call, a reminder that living while you’re young is not a sin. This movie is what I think of every time I get nervous, every moment that I falter before taking a leap. Now I don’t hesitate to live past my boundaries, to take control, by letting my inhibitions go. This movie is the law of my life. I will never back down, never give up, and never play it safe, because I don’t want to die without any scars.

What Would You Never Do?

I barely had time to do anything creative yesterday, but in between my two shifts at work I managed to squeeze out a piece of writing. Unfortunately I had to wait until today before I got an opportunity to post it.

365 Days of Creativity

day three

         People have their own set of basic rules, ethics and boundary's. It's easy when someone asks you, "Have you ever cheated in a relationship?" to say "Oh I would never!" But as life goes on, you realize more and more how much you lie to yourself. How many things you told yourself you wouldn't do. That person you said you wouldn't fall for, the job you said you wouldn't take, those words you promised not to utter. And that line you said you wouldn't cross is now miles behind you. Now someone asks if you've ever cheated and your answer is a jumble of half formed explanations and excuses.

"Well... this one time... but I was reaaaally drunk."

"It wasn't a healthy relationship anyways."

"A bit of fooling around, but it wasn't like we fucked or anything!"

           It makes you look at who you've become. What about everyone else that's cheated? Are they still disloyal sluts and disgusting liars? Or is there maybe a story behind every broken promise.

          Ask yourself: What would I never do?

And think, really think about your answer. Before you deny ever being able to kill someone, imagine that your victim has just kidnapped your child. No? What if they raped your sister? Your mother? How about if they killed the love of your life. Now? Now would you kill them? What if, if you didn't, your whole family would be ripped to shreds in front of you?

            If you still think you wouldn't do it, maybe you really obey your moral code. Or maybe you live in fear. Of the repercussions, of god, of your guilt. But more likely you're thinking... "Well if the guy killed my dad... and if I could get away with it..." And now that you've even considered murder, are you sure about those ethics you've lived by and judged others by?

So I ask you again:

What would you never do?

            As for me? I honestly can't say. So many times I've turned my back on myself, on others. Am I a bad person because I can't list a hundred morals?....Maybe. But who are you to judge?