Insomnia, My Dark Angel

365 Days of Creativity

day twenty eight

         Some people claim to have spirits that stay with them. My demon is Insomnia. Insomnia is a creature, a living entity that has followed me my entire life. I have learned to function on minimal amounts of sleep. With anywhere from 2-5 hours a night, coping with life's daily tasks can sometimes seem mundane and petty. Being late, being ditched, being hungry, it doesn't matter. Everything is going to happen eventually. On really bad days almost nothing could work me up. Every sense is dulled by the heavy weight of missed out sleep. 

         Years and years of sleep deprivation is broken up by few precious months of steady sleep. All it takes is one night. One night where my brain can't shut down, and I'm back in the cycle. Somewhere between weeks three and four of little to no sleep, I start to contemplate the need for sleep. Why rest when we can push ourselves to keep going? I can get so much writing done in 20 hours that it seems cruel to stop for my own human needs. Life is wasted on the living. 

         Even days when I have time to sleep in, I can't. My soul is restless. It needs to move, to change, to be free. I get bored extremely easily. Souls are more delicate and flexible than birds, they can fly higher and see sharper. I realize how much time I waste just sitting around. I don't want to stop, I need to go, to run, to speed, to get away. 

       I hate Insomnia, my dark angel. But it's shadows have showed me that wasted time equals wasted lives. My own curse is one of my biggest sources of power and inspiration. 

       The only thing I miss are the dreams.